If Only
by Desertfyre
Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?
1. If Only

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: I had this What-if scenario in my head every time I watche the fight between the Socs and Johnny and Ponyboy in the park…..The scenario is what if instead of getting out his switchblade and cutting the Soc, Johnny ran back to the Curtis' house to get Ponyboy's brothers….. How would thinks have gone differently?

I just had to write this out and see where it goes. As usual with mult-chapters…I have it all written out but I doubt I'd upload all at one time or one day.

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

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Chapter 1: If only…

The Socs watched as Ponyboy and Johnny slid off the monkey bars. The leader, Bob, smiled drunkenly and asked, "You know what greasers are?"

He took a sip of alcohol before answering his own question, "White trash with long greasy hair…" He threw the rest of the drink on Ponyboy.

There were snickers from the other Socs. Johnny flinched and swallowed nervously glancing between the two. Ponyboy glanced at him before looking back at the Soc.

It was a moment later but calmly he asked, "You know what a Soc is?"

"What?" Bob asked.

"White trash with mustangs and and madras" then he spit on him.

"Get him!" Bob cried before the Socs charged the two young greasers. Ponyboy and Johnny broke off running in opposite directions.

"Johnny run!" Ponyboy called out as several Socs gained on him, pulling the back of his shirt. He tried to fight them off but there were too many of them as they dragged him to the fountain. He did not stop trying to fight them.

Johnny ran with two Socs hot his tail. He grunted as he fell down to the ground. Johnny didn't have any time as they picked him up and threw him back down before kicking him in the stomach a few times. Johnny groaned once and curled into himself. Laughing they jogged back to help their friends who were dunking Ponyboy in the fountain. Johnny could hear the struggles as he tried to get breath back into his body.

It was a mere second before Johnny lifting his head up to see them dunking Ponyboy. Panic set in as he threw off the pain he was feeling and rose up, before taking off running. He had to get help! There was no way he could stop all those Socs by himself. His body seemed to know before his brain and instinctively he ran towards the Curtis' house.

"Hey! He's getting away!" one of the Socs cried having seen him in his parallel vision.

Bob barely glanced up. "Then after him, you morons! I'm busy here", he ordered ending with a laugh as he took a flask and dump some alcohol on Ponyboy.

Two Socs broke away following orders and began running after Johnny.

Blindly, Johnny ran. He never ran so hard in his life. But he couldn't stop, Ponyboy was counting on him. He heard the footsteps behind him, gaining on him. He was close to the house. Only a little more. He prayed he'd hold out. He prayed the Socs wouldn't get to him before he could get help.

"Help me! Soda! Darry!" he called out hoping they heard and could convey the urgency, "Ponyboy...!"

The Socs behind him realized what he was doing. "He's getting his friends!" one called to the other as they slowed down accessing their options.

"Whoo, let's go back. We gotta tell the others! We gotta go before they get here", the other said. Both turned and ran back to the park.

Johnny was aware on some level the cease of footsteps behind him but did not stop in his pursuit. "SODA! DARRY!" Johnny cried as he saw the house. He flung open the gate and bounded up the stairs, near tripping on the steps. It didn't slow him down any as he threw open the door startling the two men who were sitting on the couch.

Darry had his head in his hands and Soda had his hand on Darry's shoulder. Obviously, Darry was upset with what had happened and Soda was trying to make him feel better. They barely looked up much less have spoken before Johnny huffed out. "Ponyboy!" he said before darting out the house.

Darry and Sodapop didn't waste any time before darting out the house. They saw the wildness in their friend's eyes and didn't question it. They were barely out the door when Johnny had darted out the gate. Darry and Sodapop had caught up with Johnny rather easily.

"What happened?" Darry asked.

"Socs!" Johnny answered as he veered to the park. The two brothers didn't need any other explanation at the moment as they ran both running ahead of Johnny now that they knew he was was going to the park.

Darry himself was maddening as various scenarios started playing in his head. He felt the need to beat someone up now. When they came in view the first thing they saw were the Socs frantically piling in the car. The car was already moving before they could barely get in. Darry had picked up a rock, not slowing down and hurled it to the Soc's car. It hit the hood and bounced off but the Socs were in the car by then and were speeding away. Feeling cocky, they were shouting obscenities to the greasers as they drove away.

"Ponyboy!" Sodapop called frantic worry in his voice, as he surveyed the park. He didn't see his brother. He hadn't even paid any attention to the Socs, his thoughts firmly on his younger brother.

Johnny also didn't care about the Socs as ran to the fountain, Sodapop close on his heels. "Ponyboy!" he called out, not seeing the young male. He proceeded to run around the fountain but when he got closer he realize there was a body lying on the ground.

"Ponyboy!" Sodapop cried before rushing off and skidding to the ground next to Ponyboy. He picked up his younger brother, tears in his eyes. "We are here now. Ponyboy!" He cried, shaking him. Said male did not respond nor did he more.

Not a twitch.

Ponyboy was drenched but Sodapop didn't care didn't even really realize that his brother was wet. Ponyboy's skin was becoming really pale and his lips were turning blue.

Johnny watched with worried eyes, leaning on the edge of the fountain, his breath coming out in gasps. "Is …..be….right?" he managed to breathed out. Now that he had finished running, his brain was catching up to his body and he felt extremely weak and tired.

"I don't know! I don't know…." Sodapop cried just holding his brother, worry overtaking him. He shook his brother and called his name, hoping that Ponyboy would give him something to work with.

"We need to get him to the hospital. Who knows how much water he may have swallowed?" came a soft calming voice. Darry kneeled next to Sodapop. Darry put two and two together taking in what happened. Now he had to be calm for his brothers and Johnny, though inside a wage of emotions burned though him.

Guilt.

Rage.

Worry.

"I don't think he's breathing!" came Sodapop's frantic voice as he was studying Ponyboy and he felt a small shift stop. Ponyboy's features seemed to get paler and his mouth bluer.

"Lay him flat!" Darry barked a command instantly taking charge. Soda obeyed without question. He did not know CPR well but he would dang well try!

"Come on, Pony!" Sodapop cried as Darry worked to get his breath back.

"Soda, run and call and ambulance!", Darry ordered between breaths and pushes, "If you gotta run across the street to a neighbor's do it!"

Soda didn't question, but with tears in his eyes he obeyed and picked a house running to it praying they were home. Though their house wasn't far, just around the corner and a few paces, it was too far in this circumstance.

"Ponyboy….." Johnny breathed. His breath was calming down but he was still weak. He dropped down next to his friend. He felt guilt well up. Maybe if he had stayed and put of a fight, Ponyboy wouldn't be in his position.

"Come on, Ponyboy!", Darry grunted, "Don't you dare do this to me, to us! Don't you dare!" Darry continued, feeling his arms burn but he didn't dare stop. He breathed in breaths and continued pushing, "Come on! Please…" his voice broke on the plea as tears began to fill his eyes. "Please, Ponyboy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you. Please you have to get better so that I can make it better."

"Ponyboy….." Johnny murmured, as tears began to flow down his face as the reality of what was happening was sinking in.

"Ambulance is called. They'll be here in 5", Sodapop called out as he ran towards them.

Johnny was beginning to get sick. He felt this was all his fault. If only had stayed and fight. If only he had run faster.

If only he made Ponyboy go back home.

If only he had insisted they stay at the lot….

If only…..

If only……..

"Johnny….hey, Johnny!" Sodapop called. Johnny was dimly aware of someone shaking him. Johnny's ears were closing, his body shutting down. He heard Ponyboy's name slip from Sodapop's lips as he was talking to him, but he couldn't hear anything else. His eyes rolled back and he passed out.

**TBC…**


	2. Guilt Tripping

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: Nothing much to say this chapter…. Enjoy!

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

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Chapter 2: Guilt-tripping

_Johnny, run! _

_He ran. He called out. _

_He ran again. _

_He remembered trying to get back in time. _

_He didn't make it. _

_Time of death… 3:06 am. _

_Ponyboy's dead? _

_NO! Please, he can't be! He can't! _

_Johnny saw the familiar body by the fountain. Lifeless and pale. Still as death. _

_He was dead? _

_He was dead! _

_NO! _

Johnny bolted up right with tears streaming down his face. He shut his eyes instictively.

"Hey, hey, easy, kid, easy!" came a voice. A hand touched his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"No, Ponyboy!", Johnny rasped out, struggling.

"Hey, hey, hey! Calm down, calm down!" the voice said again as Johnny began to cry loudly.

"It's all my fault he's dead! He's dead! I shoulda stayed! Pony!" Johnny cried.

"I need some help in here!" the voice called out. "Come on Johnnycake stop! Stop it!"

Johnny just continued to cry oblivious to what was happening around him. He struggled harder when someone grabbed his arm and he felt a sting. It was a moment before he felt himself calm and drift.

"Pony…boy…." He murmured going under.

Dallas Winston let out a sigh of relief. He was gonna kill somebody for this. He had gotten a call at 4'o'clock in the morning at Buck's place. Dallas was already a little peeved at being interrupted when he was just getting it on with one hot blond-red haired greasy girl in his bedroom. Nice curves, nice body and he barely got a kiss in before Buck knocked and poked his head in. Said there was an urgent phone call from Darry for him:

"_This better be good!" he growled into the phone after he snatched it up. _

"_Dallas, it's Darry.", came a weary sigh at the other end. _

"_Make it fast I am busy", Dallas snapped and gave the girl a wink. She giggled and Dallas turned his back to her, rolling his eyes. _

_Well, she was good for one thing….that was about it. Not like he wanted to talk to her. If he did, he couldn't…The only thing that bothered him was the fact that she found it necessary to giggle every 30 seconds. If she wasn't pretty man…. _

_Dallas shifted his thoughts back to the conversation where Darry was currently in the middle of an apology. _

"_I'm sorry to bother you Dallas….but it's Ponyboy…and Johnny." _

_Something sunk in Dallas' stomach. "What?" he snapped out of worry. _

"_Some Socs jumped them. They tried to drown Ponyboy and Johnny ran to get us. Ponyboy…he died but we were able to revive him and then…." Darry's voice broke the night's events taking a toll on him. He cleared his throat trying to get himself together, "And then…Johnny he passed out. He hasn't awakened yet. Ponyboy hasn't awakened either. Johnny is already situated but…Ponyboy...he died again but he's okay they say...we haven't seen him yet…and…." His voice broke again._

"_Calm down, man...breathe...breathe.", Dallas ordered lightly. He waited a few moments hearing deep breaths on the other end. "Look, ya'll at the hospital, right?" he asked. _

"_Yeah…" came a shaky voice. _

"_Did you let the others know?" _

"_No… If you could tell the others and come down some…time…." _

"_I got it covered. I'll be there as soon as I can. Take care of the two. I'll see you guys in a bit." _

"_Thank you…Dallas, thank you." _

"_Don't worry, man. They'll be okay." _

_Dallas hung up the phone. He turned to the girl spread out on his bed. "I'm sorry doll, but unfortunately urgent matters that need my attention have come up. Perhaps we can postpone." _

_The girl giggled, "Aww, come on!" she pouted then giggled again. _

"_Yeah, well…" Dallas opened the door. The party noises from downstairs floated up more clearly. The girl got up and sauntered out giggling, "You have no idea what you are missing", she cooed. _

_Dallas gave his charming smiles and closed the door with a roll of his eyes. "Stupid giggles", he murmured before proceeding to call the rest of the gang. _

Dallas had called Steve whose answer was sharp and instanteous. He was ready to go beat the crap out of the Socs, right at that moment. After calming Steve down, he agreed that he would call Two-bit and let him know and they would meet them down at the hospital as soon as they were able, so that Dallas could leave for the hospital at that moment, which he did.

Dallas threw out his shirt and jacket and walked down the stairs pausing to borrow Buck's vehicle before riding down. He was mad to know that the stupid Socs had jumped his friends and the youngest ones at that. If he saw them, he would not be responsible for their lives…

Or lack of it when he was done...

Dallas had arrived at the hospital in record time. He asked for Ponyboy Curtis and was directed to the 2nd floor where he saw Darry sitting outside in the hallway his head in his hands. Sodapop sat next to him tears still streaming down his face. Dallas covered the distance in long strides and questioned what happened.

Ponyboy would be okay, though he was still unconscious at the moment. They had just gotten wind that he was being situated. But the Curtis' had gone through a great deal of fright. Apparently Johnny was in better shape than Ponyboy, but since he pushed himself to run so hard his body had given out at the time. He was currently unconscious at the moment as well.

Steve and Two-bit joined the gang shortly after Dallas arrived. Two-bit had picked up Steve and they arrived at the hospital together. Steve was still hopping mad and they could tell it in his stride as he walked up. He took a seat by Sodapop to comfort the guy who was currently making himself sick with fright and worry. Darry had slowly begun to fall apart, the events taking a toll on him as well:

"_Hey, Soda…don't worry, we'll get them", Steve murmured trying to cheer his friend who had currently started crying again. _

"_I'm gonna be sick", Sodapop muttered through his tears, his head in his hands. _

"_Hey, hey…come on…you look a little green", Steve said pulling Sodapop up, "Let's get you to a toilet, you look like you are gonna throw up."_

_Sodapop followed Steve who hadn't released his grip on his arm. He felt his stomach churn, "Yeah, I think I'm gonna throw up." _

"_Wait until we get the bathroom!", Steve said a little alarmed as he practically ran to the bathroom dragging Sodapop along. And sure enough as soon as they were in the in bathroom, Sodapop stumbled to the toilet and promptly threw up. _

"_Hey man, you gonna be okay?", Two-bit asked Darry as he sat down next to said male. Dallas opted to stand on the other side. _

_Darry continued to stare at the ground his hands shielding his face. "Hey, it's gonna be okay", Two-bit murmured leaning forward and trying to look into Darry's face. _

"_It's all my fault…" Darry muttered after awhile had passed. _

_Dallas snorted, "Now how the heck did you figure that out?"_

"_Yeah, man, the Socs are the one to blame and they will get what's coming to them. We won't let them get away with this." Two-bit encouraged. _

"_NO!" Darry cried lifting his head, tears swimming in his eyes. Two-bit and Dallas were surprised at his outburst. _

_Darry breathed in and said shakily lowering his head back down, "That's not what I meant." _

"_Then what do you mean?" Two-bit asked. _

"_I...I-I-I hit Ponyboy." He confessed quietly. _

_Dallas did a double take and sat down to get a good look at Darry. "Say...say what…what…?"he asked._

_Two-bit was equally stunned….so much so, he couldn't speak at the moment as he just stared at Darry. _

_Darry groaned, "I got mad cause Ponyboy had slept late in the lot with Johnny. He didn't use his head and I was worried and I got mad. Then when Sodapop tried to defend him, I yelled at Soda. Then Ponyboy got mad at me for yelling at Sodapop for defending him and I snapped and pushed Pony. Then he ran out the door…." _

_It took a moment for both Dallas and Two-bit to follow what Darry said. They were both stunned. No one in the Curtis' house ever hit each other from what they knew. And they were sure they would have heard about it if it had happened. _

"_I didn't mean it!" Darry said with a broken sob, "And if I hadn't pushed him, then Ponyboy wouldn't have ran out and then he would be safe cause he wouldn't have been out for the Socs to jump him and Johnny in the first place. It's all my fault and now..." _

_He started to cry. "I'm sorry, Ponyboy!" he cried, burying his face in his hands. _

Needless to say, Dallas was still stunned if he thought about it. He nor did any of the rest of the gang blamed Darry. Darry was doing enough of that by himself. After getting Darry to calm down, Dallas said he's sit with Johnny until he awoke. That left Sodapop and Darry to sit with Ponyboy. Steve and Two-bit alternated between the two rooms, checking on both of their friends. Steve had finally came back with Sodapop a little while later, after Two-bit and himself got Darry to calm down, who looked a smidge better than before. Both brothers looked on the edge of breaking and it was up to Two-bit, Steve and himself to keep it together for them.

Dallas sighed. He had been surprised when Johnny had awoken in tears, agitated and upset. Johnny must have thought that Ponyboy was dead and didn't know any better at the moment. And his suspicions were confirmed when Johnny began to mutter to himself. That was why Dallas called for a nurse who gave him a sedative.

Dallas watched Johnny a little longer. Now, Johnny was on-board this guilt trip. He already knew that Darry blamed himself. Give it a bit longer and Sodapop might come up with a guilt trip to go on as well...if he didn't already.

Dallas sighed and stood up. He had to report to the others what happened and it seemed Johnny would sleep for awhile longer. All this guilt tripping was gonna have to stop. He knew that although Darry was calmed right now he was still guilt tripping.

**TBC…**

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A.N: Amazing how I had just a basic idea (not the fully story) and the story is sorta just writing itself.

It seems more of the gang than just Johnny, that have guilts about what happened.


	3. Pass Around the Guilt

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: I'm not a medical person. I know basics, and had to ask about that so that it was somewhat believable. So I apologize if the medical stuff isn't exactly 100%.

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

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Chapter 3: Pass around the guilt

Sodapop continued to stare at Ponyboy. Darry was in a chair across from him also watching Ponyboy. His older brother sighed and ran a hand down his face. Sodapop glanced at Darry who had not met his eye since they arrived at the hospital. He knew that Two-bit and Steve were quietly playing a card game at the table in the corner. It helped to know that they were there even though they couldn't really do anything. It had been several hours since the incident. It was way early in the morning…..Sodapop wouldn't be surprised if it was nearing 6'o'clock but he didn't care about the time.

And it seemed neither did anyone else.

Sodapop was tired, so much had happened that night.

Too much.

At Darry's order, he had run across the street and banged on a neighbor's door. The man that answered was annoyed but after seeing the wide-eyed of Sodapop and a quick explanation he had no qualms with allowing Sodapop to borrow his phone. Sodapop would have to remember to go over and give him a proper thank you since after the phone call he rushed out of the house with a barely audible thanks, intent on getting back to his brother.

When he got back he told them that the ambulance would be arriving in five. Darry was still begging and pleading with his brother to fight as he continued to administer CPR. Sodapop watched with growing alarm and tears in his eyes.

The thought had passed through this head that they could lose Pony and it near made him come undone. But he kept it together as best he could.

It was only a few seconds later when Ponyboy gasped and choked up water. Darry and Sodapop laughed with relief as the former rolled Ponyboy on his side allowing him to spit up the excessive amount water. By that time, sirens could be heard in the distance.

Sodapop had remembered Johnny at the moment when Ponyboy was throwing up water and looked up to tell him Ponyboy's alive. But he saw that Johnny had started to gasp. The strain he had placed on his body and probably thinking that Ponyboy was gone made him pass out a moment later. Sodapop and Darry had become frantic again but relaxed when they realized Johnny didn't quit breathing.

The ambulance had pulled up and the medics began rushing around. Ponyboy had slipped back into unconsciousness. They had to rush him to the hospital to make sure there was no more water in his lungs as well as worry about infection that was probably already settling. They had hooked him up to oxygen as well. Ponyboy wasn't out of the red yet.

Johnny had to be rushed to the hospital as well since he had passed out from stress. Since there was no more room, Darry and Sodapop ran back to their house and to get the keys to the car. With Darry driving with little regard for the road laws they arrived at the hospital in seven minutes...where they had discovered that Ponyboy had crashed. Since the ambulance had made it on time after Ponyboy breathe, they were able to regain Ponyboy's life back with ease. Infection had begun to settle in and antibiotics were promptly administered.

Yet still it was the stress of knowing they had lost their youngest brother two times that made the oldest brothers come undone.

And now, staring at Ponyboy who was hooked to various machines to make sure he was breathing properly and fight infection, Sodapop blamed himself. And in the process made himself sick:

_Sodapop was barely able to get to the toilet before he threw up. _

_He had lost his brother not once….but twice. It was a scary thought. What if…what if they hadn't been able to get to him on time? What if the ambulance hadn't gotten there on time and Ponyboy crashed there? What if…._

_What if? _

_Sodapop let out a cry as he shut his eyes tightly though that did nothing to prevent the tears from escaping. _

"_Hey, hey, hey….." Steve murmured pulling some paper towels out of the dispenser, "It'll be okay." He kneeled and wiped Sodapop's mouth before tossing the paper in the garbage. _

"_I could have lost my brother tonight, Steve", Sodapop cried hanging onto the toilet. "I might still could. He developed infection in his lungs…." _

"_I will not have you talking like that! Do you hear me?" Steve snapped. Sodapop sniffed but didn't say anything. Steve continued gentling his voice, "Come on, man! Ponyboy will bounce back. The kid is tough", he reassured. _

"_It's all my fault!" Sodapop cried after a moment of silence had passed with just his sniffing to interrupt it. _

"_Soda…." There was a warning in Steve's voice. _

"_It is!" Sodapop snapped._

"_Fine, I'll humor you. How is it your fault?" Steve asked. _

"_Cause, I shoulda gone after Ponyboy." _

"_What are you talking about?" Steve was confused. _

"_Ponyboy came home late. He slept in the lot with Johnny and lost track of time. Darry had been worried and he was mad when he came home. Darry and Pony got into an argument and I tried to break it up. Darry yelled at me and then Pony yelled at Darry for yelling at me. Darry snapped……and….."Sodapop sniffed. _

"_And what…?" Steve asked feeling some dread. _

"_And then Darry pushed Ponyboy!" Sodapop cried, "Ponyboy ran out the house. If only I had run after Pony…..if only I had kept my trap shut and let the two duke it out as always. Then Ponyboy wouldn't have ran away….he mighta just when to bed angry. I shoulda done something! Anything!" Sodapop started sobbing, burying his head in his arms on the toliet. _

_It was a moment before Steve could get over the shock. He shook his head to get rid of said shock. _

_Then he reached out and clutched Sodapop's arm, making him looking up. His voice was firm when he spoke, "Soda…this isn't your fault."_

_At this Sodapop let out a keening sound before opening his mouth, "I don't want to hear it, Soda" Steve cut off the protest that was beginning to build and continued, "Darry messed up and I know he feels bad about it. But there isn't anything you could have done. You cannot blame yourself, man. It's those Socs. Regardless of what happened, those Socs shouldn't have jumped Ponyboy or Johnny…in fact they shouldn't have been in our neighborhood to begin with." _

_He paused and Sodapop sniffed. "If anyone is to blame it's those Socs." _

Steve may have had a point but it didn't make Sodapop feel any better. He still felt it was somehow his fault.

He blinked away the tears he thought he had run out of as he continued to look at Ponyboy. The doctor had told them that he was lucky to be alive. It was way too close of a call. But now they had infection to deal with. The antibiotics should fight it but it would be awhile before any headway was made. That and they had to make sure that Ponyboy was getting enough oxygen.

"I'm gonna go check on Johnny", Two-bit said quietly as he stood up, just as Dallas came striding in.

Everyone's head snapped up.

"Hey, Johnny…?" Darry was cut off before he could finish asking.

"Calm down…he awoke but he was out of it so they gave him a sedative. I waited a few moments but he should be down for little while. Thought I'd check on everyone here", Dallas said leaning on the door frame.

There was a collective sigh of relief.

"What do you mean, he was out of it when he woke up?" Steve asked.

"I think he thinks that Ponyboy is dead and is blaming himself", Dallas answered.

"He passed out as I was trying to tell him Ponyboy was okay. I don't think he heard me", Sodapop spoke up not taking his glaze off his younger brother.

"I think the stress level had gotten to him by then, but he is not to blame", Darry said, "If anything, we owe him...big. He was the one that ran all the way back to get us. If he hadn't…."

Silence reigned for a moment.

"Speaking of, we could actually tell two others in here that they aren't to blame either", Steve said glaring at Sodapop in particular.

"Hey, if I hadn't pushed him, he wouldn't have left", Darry justified.

"And if I had either kept my trap shut Pony wouldn't have left or if I had gone after him I might have done some good", Sodapop murmured.

Darry looked up at Sodapop surprised evident in his face. "Are you serious? Why are you blaming yourself for this?"

"What?" Sodapop looked at him.

"You are blaming yourself for this? Don't be stupid man!"

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Two-bit asked with a small growl flipping a card continuously in his hand.

Darry glared at him, "That is different. I pushed Pony. I never raised a hand to him. Never. I never hurt him like that. I never wanted to. I just snapped, but it's no excuse…and to think that if I hadn't had the chance to apologize, to make it right...I would have never forgiven myself."

"And if I had kept my mouth shut you never would have yelled at me, which made Pony yell at you which made you snap", Sodapop said slinking down in his chair, despair coming off him in waves, "Or gone after him, and maybe could have stopped the fight long enough to get Pony and Johnny to safety…whichever."

"Sodapop…I won't let you blame yourself for this!" Darry said firmly glaring at his other brother across the bed of his youngest.

"Tough luck!" Sodapop snorted, "You're blaming yourself so I get to blame myself."

"Well it _is _my fault…."

"No it isn't!"

"Yeah...it is. If anyone gets to take some blame it's me."

"Don't be stupid, Darry."

"_Helllllllo_, what about the Socs? Can't we put some blame on them, too?" Steve interjected mad that everyone was forgetting the real culprits here.

"Of course we do. They are to blame as well. I'm just saying if I hadn't pushed him…."

"Or if I injected……or just ran after him…."

"I can't believe we are going through this again", Two-bit moaned holding his head.

"Well it's true…." Sodapop argued.

"Little brother, I will not have you doing this to yourself. You already look sick", Darry said noticing the slight lack of color in Sodapop's face.

"Yeah, barely made it to the bathroom before it came out", Steve said.

"What? Sodapop, you cannot blame yourself. You are making yourself sick. You made yourself sick. I won't have it" Darry said with a small growl.

Sodapop's eyes flashed, "Yes, I can….if..."

"SHUT THE HECK UP!"

The room got silent. Crickets probably hushed up too. Every one snapped their heads towards Dallas' direction. Dallas had listened to this conversation and started getting more and more angry.

Didn't help that he already had a slight headache.

And when it seemed the conversation was getting ready to go in a circle for the umpteenth time he blew up.

"I'm itchin'….positively _itching_ to bash both of ya'll heads in", Dallas growled at the Curtis'. "Keep it up, and trust me, I will."

Darry and Sodapop exchanged glances. Steve looked smug and happy while Two-bit was still blinking at the outburst.

Dallas pushed himself off the door frame. "You people are getting on my nerves with all this guilt tripping. Johnny is blaming himself, Darry is blaming himself and Soda is blaming himself. When the heck does it end? Huh?" he glared at the latters before looking at Two-bit and Steve as well including them in his next train of thought.

"If anything we should be coming up with a plan to beat the crap out of those Socs."

"Preach on, my bro'ther!" Steve called out in an exaggerated southern accent, raising his hand slightly. Two-bit sniggered at this.

"That's who the blame lays with."

"Amen!" Steve injected again, hitting the table for emphasis. He nodded vigorously, before looking intently at Dallas to see what else he says. Two-bit gave a bark of laughter at Steve's antics. Briefly amusement shone in Darry's and Sodapop's eyes.

Dallas stared at Steve a moment with a raised eyebrow, before he rolled his eyes and looked at the oldest greaser in the room, "Darry, you messed up…guess what…you deal with it! When Ponyboy wakes up, and he will, you deal with the mess you made. No excuses, no nothing…if you gotta grovel for the kid's forgiveness, guess what, man, you grovel!"

He turned to Sodapop, "And Soda, you cannot spend the rest of your 'effing life dealing with what-ifs. That will kill you, okay? What happened, happened. Who the heck knows what coulda happened if you ran after Ponyboy? Maybe you could've gotten hurt too, I don't know. If you had kept your mouth shut, Ponyboy and Darry might have still been at odds with each other right now. I don't know. And if Johnny hadn't ran to get you two, he might have gotten hurt and then Ponyboy still might have gotten hurt. I. Don't. Know. And the basic 'effing point of this is, guess wha? You. Don't. Know, either! So come off it man!"

Dallas growled, "Now, you all need to come to grips with reality and deal with what is going on. When Pony wakes up he'll need you two. And when Johnny wakes up, he'll need us as well."

Dallas breathed once and ran a hand through his hair, "Now I've got an 'effing headache from dealing with ya'll's 'effing guilt trips that don't make a lick of 'effing sense. Now…… I'm gonna go back to Johnny's 'effing room, before I 'effing kill someone and land myself in 'effing jail……AGAIN!"

And with that Dallas stomped out of the room.

The room was stunned for a moment until...

.

.

.

.

.

"AAAA-MEN!" Steve gave a whooping cry, standing up, raising an arm with a clench fist in the air for emphasis.

Two-bit cracked up laughing like a hyena at this. He near fell out of his seat.

And suddenly Sodapop and Darry could no longer hold back their laughter as they joined in.

**TBC…**

* * *

A.N: ROFL! I don't know about anyone else but Dallas cracked up me up at the end and Steve too. I was laughing writing it.

I know we've been missing Johnny. Don't worry, he'll be back and we'll get him straighten around.


	4. Whose Trip Is It?

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: Nothing to say...

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

* * *

Chapter 4: Whose trip is it?

Johnny groaned lightly and slowly opened his eyes. He stared up at the ceiling lazily. He felt himself drifing...drifting on a sea of calmness. He felt so calm.

Too calm.

"Hey, kid, you awake?" came a voice.

Johnny shifted his eyes to find the source. He found Dallas grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Hey man", he said, "It's good to have you back."

Johnny blinked slowly almost owlishly.

"You still high on that stuff, Johnny?"

It took a moment before Johnny remembered how to open his mouth and speak. "Wha….?"

Dallas snickered. "Yep. Still high."

Johnny was slowly beginning to come down off the sedative as his brain began to work again. "Hey, where am I?" he asked looking around.

Dallas sobered and said, "Hospital." He paused before asking slowly, "What do you remember?"

Johnny looked back up at the ceiling. It took a moment before it came back. And when it did, tears began to fill his eyes.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Calm down." Dallas did not want to go through this again. He was hoping to stop it before it start, "Ponyboy is gonna be fine. Do you hear me?" Dallas said standing up from his seat next to the bed to stare down at Johnny.

"What?" Johnny asked after it took a moment sink in. He wasn't sure if he heard right.

"Ponyboy will be fine!" Dallas repeated, "Ponyboy. Will. Be. Fine." he enunciated.

"Seriously?" asked Johnny his eyes wide and hopeful.

"Yeah, man, seriously", Dallas smiled lightly, "It was a bit of a touch and go there for a moment I won't lie and Ponyboy hasn't awoken yet. They got him high on antibiotics but he'll be fine. You did good, kid." he gave Johnny a smirk.

Johnny was silent a moment digesting all the heard. Ponyboy was alive! Ponyboy was ALIVE! It kept ringing in his head. Ponyboy would be fine! The more he thought, the more the tears built in his eyes until suddenly they were overflowing and Johnny found himself crying. His hands flew up to this face covered his eyes.

"I said, Ponyboy's fine!" Dallas cried a little alarmed, "Why are you crying now? Calm down, man!"

"I'm just so glad that he's okay!" Johnny cried through his now relieved tears.

Dallas sighed. He couldn't take much more of this emotional roller coaster they've been on for the past several hours.

"I was so worried! I never would have forgiven myself if I didn't bring help in time. And then Ponyboy passed out and stopped breathing. I was so worried. I thought that I hadn't gotten help in time. I thought he had died and it woulda been my fault. Then I just remembered, I had a switchblade and I shoulda stayed and done something!" Johnny cried, his tears not ceasing.

Dallas fumbled for the button on the bed to lift the head up, during Johnny's talking. He was worried about him choking on his tears or something like that. This was getting out of hand; he needed to gete Johnny to calm down.

When he got Johnny's bed situated he said, "Look man, you've got to calm down. I've already managed to get two halfway off of their guilt trip, I'm hoping, I'm not letting you get far down the road on yours. Take a breathe and calm down!"

Johnny sniffted pitifully, lowering his hands to look at Dallas, "But….."

"No buts, kid!", Dallas snapped, "I don't want to hear it!"

Johnny sniffed again as Dallas softened his look, reaching a hand up. He lightly ruffled Johnny's hair. "You did good, Johnnycake. Even if you had stayed and tried to fight who knows what would have happened. Everything will be fine. Ponyboy will fine and then after he's okay we'll make sure the Socs get what's coming to them."

"Oh, Dally, please don't tell me you all are gonna track them down and beat them up."

"If need be."

"Fighting ain't no good. It's what got us here in the first place."

"I know, but if need be, I'll hunt them down and kill them."

.

.

.

And Johnny knew that Dallas meant that.

"Hey, you awake?" Two-bit asked sticking his head in the room, "I heard voices before I got to the door."

"Hey, Two-bit!" Johnny smiled.

"Hey! Glad to see you up and around." Two-bit said walking into the room. He frowned, "You okay? You look like you been crying"

Johnny nodded and wiped his face, "Pony okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, he will be", Two-bit smiled, "Are you gonna be okay?" he asked again.

"If Pony does, yeah, I will too."

"Good."

Dallas sighed and sat back down in his seat, glad that Johnny seemed to have calmed down. It was a moment before Johnny asked them to tell him what happened after he passed out. So reluctantly they told him. Dallas knew that was practically giving Johnny a reason to guilt trip some more and sure enough he did.

"I'm so glad he's gonna be okay…but I can't help but to think what a close call we had. What if…."

"Oh my...handle this...", Dallas said with a growl to Two-bit, standing up abruptly, "I've gotta go drag Darry down here. I am not going through this again!"

He walked out the room, leaving Two-bit and Johnny to stare after him.

Johnny blinked, "What's wrong with Dal? Did I say something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nah, kid, he's stressed", Two-bit reassured.

Dallas walked briskly to Ponyboy's room. He was so not up for the challenge of going through what he just went through not a scant hour ago. And besides if Johnny heard it from Ponyboy's brothers it might sink in longer than five minutes.

"Hey, Johnny's awake!" he said sticking his head into Ponyboy's room, "And Darry, talk to the kid, he's guilt tripping!"

"About what?" Darry asked incredulously standing up and walking out the door. Sodapop checked on Ponyboy once before following after his older brother. Steve brought up the rear.

Dallas growled. "We asked you the same thing."

"Well ours makes more sense", Sodapop said, "Johnny saved Ponyboy's life by coming to get us. He doesn't have anything to be guilty about."

"Then tell him that!" Dallas was getting aspirated over these morons. The trio didn't say anything more until they entered Johnny's room to see him with his head down. He lifted his head up when he heard them come in.

"Hey, Johnnycake….." Sodapop said with a smile as he took the seat that Dallas was previously occupying. Dallas himself was leaning on the door. Two-bit was standing by the window looking out.

"Hey", Johnny said trying to smile but failing.

"You okay, buddy?" Darry asked walking over to the other side of the bed and perched on the edge.

"Yeah…." Johnny's voice cracked.

"Quit lying", Steve said gently with a small smirk.

"Okay…no", Johnny said as a few stray tears slipped down his cheeks. He had made the mistake of thinking while Dallas was out and right now, that was very dangerous.

"What's wrong?" Sodapop asked.

Johnny shrugged.

"Aww, Johnnycake…" Sodapop stood sitting on the bed and wrapped his arm around the younger male, "Ponyboy will be okay."

"Yeah, I know…I'm so relieved", Johnny said his voice cracking.

"Then why are you crying?" Darry asked.

"I don't know…I was scared……and then……what if…."

"Uh-huh, we aren't going there! I just sat through this", Two-bit said shaking his head. He had no desire to go through this again. When would his friends get it through their heads? He resisted the urge to bang his head against the window or better yet bang their heads against the window.

Johnny started to protest, "But…."

"No", Darry said firmly making Johnny look at him, "Who knows what would have happened if something else was done?"

"I coulda stayed and fought. I just remembered a few minutes ago that I had my switchblade in my pocket. I hadn't remembered until then. Didn't even cross my mind."

"And I'm glad it didn't! You might have gotten hurt as well." Said Sodapop. He continued gentling his voice, "Both of you still could have. Two against several is not good odds. Who knows what could have happened? "

"I coulda run faster", Johnny said after a moment had passed.

"You pushed yourself to your limit. That is why you are currently in a hospital bed", Darry refuted, "Try again."

"Don't tell him that! Johnny'll take it literally!" Dallas cried pushing off the door frame.

And take it literally he did as he came up with something else, "I could have sent Ponyboy back home instead of going to the park with him or just convinced him to stay at the lot until he cooled off."

"See! What did I tell you morons?" Dallas growled as he throw his arms up before leaning back in the doorway looking out into the hallways. Two-bit sighed and Steve rubbed his temple.

"Doesn't matter, as a peeved friend of ours said, what happened, happened, so we gotta deal with it." Darry said ignoring Dallas. Dallas did look back into the room with a raised eyebrow. Guess something did sink into his brain.

"Yeah, it could have been worse, but thank God it wasn't. What matters is that both of you will be okay.", Sodapop said with a glance in Dallas' direction as he hugged Johnny.

"Either way you slice it, you have nothing to be guilty about. In fact, we owe you one." Darry said.

Johnny blushed and looked at his hands, "You don't owe anything."

"Yeah, we do and I'm sure Ponyboy would say the same. So thank you…really…thank you", Sodapop said his own eyes getting misty again. He had not moved his arm from around Johnny's shoulders.

"Yeah, thank you", Darry said his voice cracking lightly.

Dallas sighed and rubbed his temple, "So you people done guilt tripping now?"

"I want it to be known, that I was not guilt-tripping", Steve said raising his hand, "And I still want to go beat up those Socs."

Two-bit raised his own hand as he moved from the window to the door, "Nor was I and if there is a beat down scheduled, I want in on it."

Him and Steve exchanged high-fives and a whoop of agreement. Sodapop and Darry rolled their eyes. Johnny just sighed.

Dallas growled lightly with a roll of his own eyes. "You two know I wasn't talking to you guys."

"Hey, you said, 'you people' that includes all in the room", Two-bit argued.

"Alright, seriously, the next one to say a word, I swear I will start swinging."

Silence and then...

.

.

.

"Word."

Dallas reacted his arm stretching out to punch Two-bit but Two-bit having anticipated that ducked out of the way and pushed Steve between him and Dallas. This made everyone but Dallas chuckle who was muttering choice words under his breath.

"So. Who else was guilt tripping?" Johnny asked curiously. He felt he had a valid reason to guilt trip.

Dallas looked pointly at the Curtis' brothers.

"Uh. Why?" Johnny asked looking between the two, not seeing any reason for them to do so.

"I am so not sticking around for this…" said Dallas as he turned on his heel to walk away.

"Hey, you gonna come back?" asked Johnny leaning forward slightly.

Dallas grunted. "I need a smoke."

This was way too much action for Dallas' tastes. More like not the type of action that Dallas liked.

"Soooo", Johnny drawled after Dallas disappeared, "How bad did you guys piss him off?" he asked.

"Oh…bad", Sodapop answered with a small chuckle.

"How bad?"

"You do not what to know", said Darry with a small chuckle.

"And do not make the mistake of asking", Steve said.

"I think I already made that 'mistake'" said Johnny.

Two-bit laughed.

**TBC…**


	5. All That Is Left

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: Thanks for all the reviews/favs/alerts! I'm glad that people are enjoying this story! I hope this next chapter does not disappoint!

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

* * *

Chapter 5: All that is left

The gang started having to break up when the rays of the sun started peeping into the hospital. Steve went to work and promised Sodapop that he'd take care of his work so that said male could take the day off to see about his sibling. Since Sodapop was staying he convinced Darry that he could go to work and he'd call if there was any change. In the end, Sodapop had to almost bodily throw Darry out the hospital.

Since Two-bit never held a job in his life, he took Darry and Steve both home to get ready for work and picked up some food before returning to the hospital. Johnny was still getting last minute tests done and was impatient because he wanted to see Ponyboy. He was told he had to drink lot of fluid and get some rest but finally he was released from his own bed so he could hang out in Ponyboy's room until he woke up.

Dallas had gone out to get himself a smoke, hoping to quarrel the headache that was growing. Actually now that everyone seemed to be back in half of their right mind, that headache was disappearing. After a few smokes, he returned to hang out in Ponyboy's room as well.

And Ponyboy still had not woken up.

In fact, it wasn't until early afternoon that he began to even twitch. Sodapop was practically boring holes in his younger brother while Dallas, Two-bit and Johnny were playing cards, so he noticed this.

"Hey, Pony?" he asked shooting up from his chair to get a better look at the youngest's twitching.

The trio looked up from their cards, the game momentarily forgotten.

Ponyboy moved his head in response to Sodapop's voice and a low sound passed from his lips.

"Hey, wake up", Sodapop said softly.

The others were now crowding around the bed. It took a few moments before Ponyboy slowly opened his eyes. He stared unfocused for a moment before he blinked slowly. His eyes started taking in the figures standing over him.

Sodapop near started crying again. Johnny sniffed. Two-bit started grinning as he went to the door to ask for a nurse. Dallas rolled his eyes as the first two antics but smirked.

"Hey, kid…wakey, wakey", Dallas sing-songed.

"Hm…" Ponyboy moaned, blinking rapidly.

"Hey, Pony…" said Johnny. Said males eyes shifted to Johnny. It was a moment before recongization sunk in, but when it did Ponyboy smiled.

"I'm gonna cry…" Sodapop muttered under his breath. His eyes were filling with tears as Ponyboy's eyes shifted to him.

"Don't you dare. We've had enough emotional moments", Dallas said light heartedly.

"I can't help it", Sodapop said as tears began rolling down his face. He just felt so relieved!

Dallas sighed.

"Back up people, let the nurse do her thing", Two-bit called trying to clear a way for said nurse.

* * *

"You doing okay, Pony?" Sodapop asked for the millionth time fussing over his brother.

Ponyboy rolled his eyes and twitched his nose where the cord that provided him oxygen still flowed through. He resisted the urge to tug at it. He did that eariler and near got his hand slapped off his wrist by Sodapop who was making sure it stayed in. The nurse had checked him over and was happy with the progress. The doctor came shortly after the nurse did and checked him out. He was pleased to announce that the antibiotics seemed to be doing it's work, but a few tests were going to have to be administered. And of course, Ponyboy was not going home any time soon.

"Soda, I'm fine. Really. You heard the doctor." Ponyboy answered.

"You sure?" Johnny asked. He was equally fussing over Ponyboy.

Dallas shook his head, his head leaning on his hand from the table he sat. Johnny and Sodapop were on either side of Ponyboy's bed, while Two-bit was on the other side of the table across from Dallas. He had just come back from calling both Steve and Darry who both promised to be there as soon as they could. They were both over-joyed at the news.

Two-bit laughed lightly. "Real good to see you awake, Ponyboy", he grinned, "It wasn't the same without ya."

"Good to be awake", said Ponyboy with a small smile.

"Good. Now certain people can start acting like normal again", Dallas said.

Ponyboy gave a small frown. "What do you mean?"

"Guilt tripping is apparently the new thing around. Haven't you heard?" Two-bit joked.

"Guilt…tripping? Who? About what?" Ponyboy asked.

"Darry was feeling guilty about…", Sodapop stopped and said instead, "You know he didn't mean it Pony."

A look of hurt and anger flashed across Ponyboy's face at the unsaid memory.

Sodapop continued cautiously, "He thought if he hadn't pushed you none of this would have happened."

Ponyboy looked at Sodapop incredulously. "Are you serious? He wasn't the one trying to drown me and near succeeded." He was still mad at Darry but he didn't blame him for him and Johnny getting jumped.

"Yes, but he still blames himself." Sodapop said quietly.

Ponyboy snorted and looked ahead. "Well, he shouldn't."

"And Sodapop blames himself." Dallas put in making Ponyboy look back at his older brother.

"About what?" he asked.

"Well...I should have gone after you or maybe if I hadn't opened my mouth Darry wouldn't have had cause to push you." Sodapop said quietly lowering his glaze.

"I was pissed he was yelling at you for defending me. Him pushing me ain't got nothing to do with you."

Sodapop looked up, guilt eating up his expression. "But I coulda ran after you."

Ponyboy stated honestly, "And, I probably wouldn't have listened at that point."

"And then we have Johnny blaming himself", Dallas added in monotone. He was making sure all this was in the air so it could all be cleared up. Cause if he had to clear it up, it won't be a pretty clear up that was for sure.

"Good grief, what's with all this guilt? What the heck were you guilty about Johnnycake?" Ponyboy asked looked at said male.

"Well, at first I thought I had gotten help too late, I could have ran faster and then I had forgotten I had a switchblade and could have stayed and fought and then I could have convince you to go back home instead of going to the park with you and then….."

"There's more?" Ponyboy asked disbelieving. He couldn't believe that Johnny seemed like he had actually sat down and seriously thought about this.

Johnny didn't miss a beat, "And then I could have convinced you to go back to the lot instead."

"And I could joined the circus but didn't", Dallas muttered under his breath but loud enough so that all heard him.

Two-bit snorted with laughter, "And I coulda gotten a job."

"Now that's hilarious!" Dallas gave a bark of laughter.

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda", said Ponyboy, "None of you guys are at fault. I don't blame anyone except those Socs."

"That's what I said!" came a new voice.

"Hey Steve." Ponyboy greeted.

"Hey, kid, glad to know and see you are awake, alive and kicking", Steve grinned. "You had everyone worried."

"Yeah, sorry about that", Ponyboy said sheepishly.

"I was trying to get everyone to realize we need to refocus the guilt to anger and point it towards the Socs", Steve said picking up the string of conversation.

"Yeah, which reminds me...the police are going to want to talk to you as soon as you are able", Sodapop told Ponyboy.

"What good will that do? They'll get off. They always get off." Dallas snorted.

"Actually word got out about this..." Steve started.

"That fast?" Two-bit asked a little surprised.

"Yeah…and get this, I have word from others that this Soc…um…..this chick…she's a Soc too I think. Something with fruit or something…" Steve stumbled trying to think of the girl's name.

"Cherry? Cherry Valance?" Ponyboy asked.

"Yeah, that was it." Steve snapped his fingers, "Word must have gotten quite far and she is willing to testify that the Socs were out drunk and they started the fight and near killed our boy. She knows who it was that jumped Ponyboy and Johnny. Guess she put two and two together somehow...I don't know."

"Are you serious?" Dallas asked shocked.

"Yeah and Johnny will have to be there to testify as well." Johnny nodded at this information.

"Of course, I still want to beat them up", Steve muttered under his breath.

"Fighting doesn't do any good, it seems", Ponyboy sighed.

"Strangely, that's what Johnny said", said Dallas making Ponyboy and Johnny exchange a smile.

"Well, it makes me feel better", Steve mumbled.

"Could always call a rumble and duke it out", Two-bit suggested.

Johnny snorted. "Leave me out of it."

Ponyboy raise a hand slightly, "Me too."

"If there ever was a rumble anytime soon, I wouldn't let you near it", a rough but soft voice said.

Everyone looked up to see Darry standing in the doorway. He looked awkward as he shifted back and forth on his feet. "Hey, Ponyboy…" he greeted, "I'm glad to see that you are awake. We…I was worried."

Ponyboy nodded slowly before looking away from Darry. Darry grimace but didn't say anything. His face looked pained though.

"Whoo, boy, look at the time." Two-bit pretended to look at a wrist watch as he stood and grabbed his coat, "Look, I check you all later. I've gotta run. Glad to see you are doing okay, Ponyboy. Ya'll call me if you need me." With that he darted out.

"I've gotta run too. Hopefully, you might be at work tomorrow, Soda but if not, let me know, thanks", then Steve darted out.

"I'm gonna go...uh...yeah…." Apparently Johnny couldn't think of a good excuse so he just got up and walked out of the room.

"And I'm gonna make sure Johnny stays out of trouble...not that I need an excuse", said Dallas as he stood and slowly walked out. When he got close enough to Darry he hissed at him while passing, "Grovel, man…grovel if you need to, ya hear?"

All the while Darry stared at Ponyboy while Ponyboy was studying his hands and Sodapop was looking between the two almost helplessly. Silence reigned for the longest time after everyone left. Darry finally moved to perch himself on the bed across from Sodapop. Sodapop looked nervously between the two, but mostly he watched Ponyboy.

"Pony…" Darry stopped before continuing, "I'm sorry…I know those are pale words for what I did but I'm sorry. I didn't…I don't have any excuse…there is none. I hope you'll forgive me someday. I never meant to push you. I never meant to hurt you like I did." His voice caught in his throat.

Ponyboy didn't say anything. Tears welled up in Darry's eyes, "Please say something...yell at me...anything…please? What do I have to do? What do you want me to do? Please, man. Please, little brother…I don't want to lose you too. We almost did."

"I'm fine", Ponyboy looked up at Darry.

"I thought we had lost you like mom and dad."

"But you didn't", Ponyboy gave a small smile, "I survived."

Sodapop spoke up, "And we are so happy for that, Pony. I've been thanking God for saving you. I had thought we lost you like mom and dad, too. We couldn't bear that."

Ponyboy's jaw twitched but he didn't say anything.

"What is it?" Darry asked, "Please tell us. Tell me."

Ponyboy's eyes skittered to his oldest brother, "What's to tell? You…." He stopped.

"I what, come on, please…."

Tears began to well up in Ponyboy's eyes.

"Pony?" Sodapop asked gently.

"You can't stand me!" Ponyboy blurted out.

"What?" Darry asked shocked.

"Huh?" came out of Sodapop who was equally shocked.

"Ever since mom and dad died, you can't stand me", Ponyboy cried.

"That isn't true, Pone." Darry shook his head.

"Yes, it is. We always fight and I can never please you. Before mom and dad we got along just fine. If it wasn't for Soda, you'd let them put me in a boy's home!" Ponyboy shut his eyes, tears flowing down his face. He reached up a hand and rubbed his face.

"Pony!" Soda cried surprised at what he was hearing. He never knew that his youngest brother felt this way.

Darry was stunned. "I…Pony…" he couldn't even form a thought behind that.

"That isn't true, Pony! You've got to know that!" Sodapop cried, his eyes misting, "We're all that is left and we can't ever let that go. Darry….." he looked at his oldest brother who was still shocked.

It took a moment before Darry could bring himself back to the situation at hand. When he spoke, his voice was rough with emotion, "Ponyboy, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way, but that simply is not true."

Ponyboy looked at him. It was obvious he didn't believe Darry.

"Pony…I know I'm hard on you…."

"Yeah, but you aren't ever hard on Soda! He gets in trouble and you don't blow up at him. I lose track of time and you blow up at me! Why? What does he have that I don't?"

"Pony!" Sodapop was panicking at what he was hearing. Had Ponyboy been feeling this way all this time? How come he never noticed it was to this degree? He should have noticed!

"Listen to me, Pony…I…I just worry about you. I guess cause you are the youngest I worry more over you than Soda", Darry said trying to find the right words to say.

"You are the youngest and we are always gonna worry. We just want you to be the best that you can.", Sodapop explained, "We know that you'll do great things if we push you to do so. You'd never be happy just settling and we know that. You're different, Ponyboy…and we want to make sure you get the best out of life with what your gifts have to offer."

Ponyboy pouted and folded his arms. He slunk down in his bed, "Then maybe I don't want to be different if it means, ya'll are gonna always hound me."

"Don't you want to be the best you can?"

"Yeah..."

"That's what we are trying to do. I'm sorry if it becomes too much." Sodapop glanced at Darry, his eyes begging him to get into the conversation. They both needed to straighten their youngest brother out.

Darry saw Sodapop's glance and spoke, "Ponyboy I never, not once wished you were put in a boy's home. We are working hard to make sure that doesn't happen. Please believe me, Pone."

Ponyboy glanced at Darry, his tears not quite finish falling. "Then why do you hate me so much?"

Darry answered quickly, alarmed that it was taking this much to make Ponyboy see. "I don't hate you. I love you, you're my little brother." How can he even think that Darry hated him? Was he that hard on him? Now he felt guiltier then before. He was forever trying to do the right thing and in his trying so hard, he had messed up big time.

"Then why did you push me? Why did you get upset for Soda defending me?" Ponyboy just had to ask the hard questions. His eyes bore into Darry's.

Darry opened and closed his mouth a few times. He glanced at Sodapop, who was looking equally helpless at the question. Finally he managed to stutter out an attempted response, "I-I-I-I snapped. It's not excuse. I'm not trying to make it one. I-I-I-I guess I get tired of Soda defending you."

"Why?" Ponyboy shot out angry tears still coursing down his cheeks. His eyes narrowed at Darry, his arms still folded.

"…." Darry looked at Sodapop before looking back at Ponyboy. What could he say?

"See!" Ponyboy cried triumphantly. He turned his face away from Darry and shut his eyes. He reached up and stubbornly wiped away the tears. He wanted to quit crying already!

"See nothing!" Sodapop snapped having finally had it as he stood so fast almost knocking his chair over. He pressed his palms on Ponyboy's bed. Ponyboy's eyes had snapped open and he was currently looking at him in surprise. Darry blinked at him surprise also. "I'm getting sick of this! I'm SICK of THIS!" He pushed off Ponyboy's bed.

"Soda...?" Darry questioned as Sodapop had turned around running hand through his hair. Ponyboy and Darry exchanged worried glances, momentarily forgetting their own problems.

It was a moment before Sodapop turned back around. First he looked at Ponyboy, "Darry loves you and I love you and nothing will change that. Ya'll fight all the time and both of you could cool it off."

He cut off both of his brother's protest that were welling up as they opened their mouths and got but a sound out, "Pony, I don't want you to go to a boy's home and neither does Darry. We would barely see you and they wouldn't let you out until you turned 18 or go through college. And why do you want to be like us? Huh? You are special and there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, you don't want to be like me anyways! I'm happy working at the gas station, it's my thing...I'm dumb. But you won't be happy doing something like that."

Sodapop looked at Darry who was trying hard not to cry, though his eyes were misty, "And Darry, you've gotta stop yelling at him for every little thing that he does, man. He could eat his cereal wrong and you could find something in that to yell at him about. We could get ridiculous. He feels things different from you…from us. And I don't see why that is wrong and neither should you."

Sodapop looked between the two, all this emotions just pouring out one after the other, "We are all we've got left whether we like it or not. It's bad enough I've gotta listen to the two of you all the time, but then you try to get me to take sides. Why do you two gotta put me in the middle? It's like some tug-a-war between you guys or something. Don't you see what it does to me when you make me pick one over the other? I can never win at that." He paused as voice cracked, "We've all we've got left and we need to stick together. I mean, if we don't have each other…we've got nothing. We would have nothing. So please…please…..can you two call a truce and stop this excessive fighting. We'd never get anywhere. Please…I'm begging you two to stop fighting…..please."

Ponyboy and Darry had been moved by Sodapop's words. They did not realize what they were doing to their brother. They looked at each other.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to use my head more." Ponyboy sniffed.

"I'm sorry I hit you, I won't ever do that again", Darry said silent tears down his face. He looked at Sodapop. "We won't fight anymore." He beckoned Sodapop over as he wrapped an arm around Ponyboy. Sodapop moved and perched on the bed. They all hugged each other.

"Soda is right….we are all that is left. We've gotta stick together", Darry murmured, hugging his brothers close. Ponyboy nodded buried under two pairs of arms.

"Thank you…thank you", Sodapop murmured.

And they sat like that for the longest time.

**TBC…**

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A.N: Yeah, if you've seen the movie (might be in the book, I wouldn't know) you can probably tell where I got most of Sodapop's speech from.


	6. The Moments In Time

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own the movie/book? I'm still trying to remember if I actually read the book long ago, cause I honestly cannot remember (and the more I think about it the more I don't think so) since the movie was so good it's what I remember. And now after re-watching after years (I had forgotten about it until I came across it a few days ago) I love and appreciate it a lot more. Anyway, basic point: ownage honor belongs to SE Hinton.

A.N: Once again thanks so much for the support! I'm glad that people have enjoyed this story! Sadly, this is the FINAL chapter! :( I had fun doing this story! This idea turned out better than I thought it would...considering going into this, all I had was just the summary idea. lol

And, don't own the Robert Frost poem. I'm not a poem person, but I think that poem is my fav. lol

Summary: Instead of cutting the Soc, what if Johnny had rushed with all his might back to get Ponyboy's brothers? Would they make it back in time to save Ponyboy from the Socs? Would Johnny forgive himself for leaving his best friend to fend for himself?

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Chapter 6: The Moments in time

After three days in the hospital, Ponyboy was finally able to go home. During Ponyboy's stay in the hospital, the police had come down to get a official account. Darry and Sodapop had sat with Ponyboy while he and Johnny recounted their story for official report.

It was true what Steve had said. Word had got around quick about the incident and Ponyboy near dying….twice. Needless to say, the whole community of greasers were pissed. And it was true that Cherry would testify against the Socs about what happened.

Bob's group had been rallied down to the police station a few days after Ponyboy was able to go home…as long as he took it easy for a couple more days. Word also got out that one of Bob's group would testify about what really happened that night since was there. That was huge shock.

The court session took about a week and a half to deal with. In the end the Socs were charged with 'assault with intent to do great bodily harm but less than death'. They had all gotten one year in jail and two years probation. Apparently all of them had a record already. The Soc, named Randy, who testified against his group yet still participated in the assault had gotten only two years of probation. It helped that he told the truth and also that he didn't have a previous record. Randy was the only one that showed remorse of what he did. Everyone could see he felt guilty. Apparently he didn't mean to participate in something that would be taken so far. He had even came over and formally apologize to Ponyboy as well was his friends who appeared for court and his brothers for the trouble caused. Randy's stern parents were behind him and they seemed less than happy about the situation.

Once court was taking care of, things seemed to go back to normal for the most part. After the Curtis' finally got everything out in the open, things seems to have gone quite well after that. There was substantial less fighting than before and if they did have an argument it was something of substance. For the longest while, Johnny seemed to stick like glue to Ponyboy making sure he was okay.

On the streets however was a different issue. The Socs were livid about what happened to their fellow Socs. Of course the greasers were still livid too. So someone actually called a rumble. Steve was ecstatic about that as well as Dallas. They've both want to beat on some Socs heads long before the rumble was called but Ponyboy and Johnny had practically begged the two to not start fights:

"_Guess what?" said Steve walking into the Curtis' house near skipping one evening, followed by Dallas who was grinning. _

"_What?" Darry asked looking up from his newspaper seated in his armchair. _

_Sodapop and Two-bit looked up from playing cards, while Ponyboy and Johnny looked up from the book they were reading together. Johnny had found 'Gone with the Wind' in the hospital gift shop and brought one. Ponyboy had been happy and surprised that Johnny had known he wanted it after seeing the movie. Ponyboy had started reading the book out loud to Johnny who found himself enjoying it._

"_A rumble was called", Dallas said flopping down on the couch. Steve made a bee-line for some cake that was half eaten. _

"_Ya'll didn't?" Johnny groaned clearly disapproving, "Please... please, tell me ya'll didn't." _

"_We didn't", Steve stated munching on cake. _

"_That isn't funny, Steve." _

"_No seriously, we didn't", Steve explained, "The Socs are the ones that called the rumble. We just talked to Tim Shepherd, who talked to some other greasers who the Socs told." _

_Dallas was excited as he punched the air once, _"_Two days from now, it's on!" _

"_Seriously?" Ponyboy asked. _

"_Don't even think about it. You aren't going", Darry said, barely sparing him a glance. _

"_I wasn't thinking about it. I don't want to go." _

"_Me neither",Johnny spoke up, "Fighting ain't no good. I get fighting when you have to…but this is going overboard." _

_Ponyboy started offering his support, _"_Though…if you guys need help….." _

"_No." Darry said flatly. _

"_Well this is good. The two of you can stay behind and man the house", Sodapop grinned._

"_Shut up…" Ponyboy growled lightly. _

_Two-bit whooped, exchanging a high five with Steve. _"_That means more for us!" _

"_I know I'm not missing it!" Dallas said. _

_Darry sighed. _

Two days had passed by rather quickly and the night of the rumble came. Johnny and Ponyboy stayed behind while the rest of the gang went to the Rumble. They were back an hour and a half later all bruised and tattered:

_The door opened and Steve was the first to stumble in. Ponyboy and Johnny looked up from the TV. They both quickly stood giving the couch to those that needed it more than they did. Steve was the first to make use and plopped down. _

"_Hey, you guys okay?"Johnny asked as the rest came stumbling in. Darry grabbed his arm chair while Two-bit promptly made for the kitchen. Sodapop came in and practically sat down on the first available piece of carpet, making Dallas growl lightly, having to walk around Sodapop to get the next available piece of couch. _

"_Oh, yeah…..I'm good", Steve said with a grin. He grimaced. Two-bit was passing out the ice while Darry reached for the alcohol to clean his fists with that was already out._

"_Good grief, ya'll look bad!" Ponyboy cried surveying everyone._

"_I don't look that bad." Sodapop said with a light grin. _

"_Define bad", Two-bit joked. _

"_Not to mention muddy. Did it rain or something?" Johnny asked pulling back a curtain to look out the window and sure enough it was raining. _

"_I'm too tired to retaliate", Sodapop sighed a response to Two-bit. _

"_We didn't notice that it started to rain." Ponyboy murmured glancing over Johnny's shoulder to peer outside. _

"_Hey…do you guys think I look tuff? I dunno… I think it makes me look kinda…kinda tuff", Steve muttered absently. His face was already swelling up. "What do you think Soda? You think it make me look tough?" _

_Sodapop looked up at him. "I think it makes you look different." _

"_That guy had sharp teeth", Darry murmured pressing the cotton tab on his fist. _

"_Oh yeah, different. Got a hole in your mouth", Sodapop muttered looking at Darry. Darry pushed his tongue around in his mouth feeling his sore jaw. _

"_You gonna be okay?" Ponyboy asked. _

"_Yeah, just fine", Darry answered with a small smile. _

_"Different is a word for it", Steve muttered looking at Darry. _

_Darry looked up and scowled as best he could, _"_You're one to talk. Your face is putting a balloon to shame." _

"_Shut up….." _

_Johnny sighed and looked at Ponyboy, "Look like we'll be playing nurses over the next few days." _

"_Apparently." Ponyboy agreed. _

"_Hey, I'm tired but I'm fine", Two-bit cried indigant. _

"_Yeah, and when you fall asleep and wake back up, don't call me when you need help getting up from where you slept", Ponyboy shot back. _

"_I can call right?" Sodapop asked raising his hand slightly. _

_Ponyboy looked back at his brother. It was a moment before he answered, _"_Well, you haven't annoyed me yet, so yes." _

"_Good…." There was a paused, and then, "Good night." Sodapop promptly spread out where he was sitting and closed his eyes. _

"_You have got to be kidding me….." Dallas muttered looking at Sodapop while nursing his head. A second passed before he asked, "Anyone got Aspirin or Tylenol or something?" _

_Johnny reached over and gave him the Aspirin off the table. _

"_Thanks, Johnny…now open it for me and get me a glass of water", Dallas ordered. _

"_See…nurse…."Johnny sighed walking into the kitchen to fill up a glass. _

"_Make that two!" Darry called. _

"_Shut the heck up!" Dallas growled. He could not deal with excessive noise at that moment. Yelling would put him in a fouler mood. _

_Ponyboy sighed. _

A snort of laughter, slipped from Ponyboy, at the memory of that night. The next morning was a headache. Apparently the fight finally caught with them and they were all feeling it. Dallas was the worse, snapping and growling at everyone that made a rustle. Steve practically had to bury his face in ice, while Sodapop had awoke to feeling every ache. He really did fall asleep where he sat. Ponyboy had brought a blanket to cover him with and slipped him a pillow which he unconsciously grabbed in his sleep. Two-bit awoke and sure enough felt the aches and pain as well. Darry got away the best, and didn't feel too bad. His fists were another issue though. Ponyboy ended up having to wrap them. Needless to say, anyone who had a job didn't go.

"What's so funny?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, just remembering the morning after the rumble", Ponyboy chuckled again.

A week and a half had passed since the night of the Rumble and a little over two weeks since they got jumped. Johnny and Ponyboy were currently sitting in the lot, looking up at the sky. They had both awoke early and decided to watch the sunrise.

Johnny groaned, "I'm glad you can find something to laugh about over it but I swear Dally was just making me run around because he knew he could."

"Yeah", Ponyboy laughed.

"It's not funny!" Johnny cried though amusement was in his eyes.

"Yeah it was….you were running around trying to make Dal all comfortable and he didn't give you a moment's peace. It was hilarious. Everyone thought so."

Johnny pouted. "I was mere entertainment…."

"Apparently since the TV bothered everyone. They had to get their kicks somehow." Ponyboy threw his arm around Johnny's shoulders, "Come on, it wasn't that bad."

"Says the guy who wasn't doing the running around."

"True….."

Silence reigned for a bit as they stared at the sky.

"Pretty huh?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah…." Ponyboy drawled.

"Too bad it can't stay like that forever."

"...Nothing gold can stay."

Johnny looked at Ponyboy who dropped his arm from his shoulders and laid on the ground, hands behind his head. "What?" he asked.

It was a moment before Ponyboy opened his mouth:

"_Nature's first green is gold,_

_Her hardest hue to hold._

_Her early leafs a flower;_

_But only so an hour._

_Then leaf subsides to leaf._

_So Eden sank to grief,_

_So dawn goes down to day._

_Nothing gold can stay." _

"Wow, where did you learn that?" Johnny asked turning back to Ponyboy for he had been watching the sunrise again.

"A poem. Robert Frost wrote it….never knew what he meant by it, but I always remembered it."

Johnny gave a impressed laugh. "You know I never really paid attention to the clouds and sun and stars until you reminded me about it", he looked back at the sky, "In fact I never really realized it was there. It was there but not…there you know?"

Ponyboy sat up with a grin, "I got it. You know I never could talk to anyone else about it. Just you and Sodapop."

"Guess we're different, huh?" Johnny asked with a small grin of his own.

"Hmm, I like to think they are the different ones", Ponyboy laughed as he stood up brushing off his pants.

Johnny stood looking thoughtful, "I never thought about that way."

"Exactly…." There was a pause. Ponyboy turned to Johnny his face solemn, "Thanks Johnny."

Johnny cocked his head. "For what?"

Ponyboy thought a moment, "For saving me back there."

"Aww, come on, man…we are past that. No thanks is need. You and your brothers have thanked me a thousand times already." Johnny blushed.

Ponyboy stared at Johnny a moment who squirmed in embarrassment, his eyes darting around. Then he found him in a hug as a soft voice murmured, "Then thanks...for being you."

It took a moment before Johnny got over his suprise and hugged him back. "Then you are welcome."

Ponyboy was the first to pull away, his hand still on Johnny's shoulder. He cocked his head and gave a small grin, "Now…race you back to my house!" he said before taking off.

"Hey, wait a second, that's not fair!" Johnny cried before he took off running.

"Yeah it is!"

"You can't just spring a run on a guy especially the way you run."

"It's fair for me cause I'm gonna beat you!" Ponyboy laughed.

"Oooo, you lousy-good for nothing!" Johnny called out good-naturedly.

Ponyboy laughed as they traded insults running back to his house.

A new day was beginning and who knows what it would bring. But one thing was for sure, Ponyboy knew as long as he had his best friend, his other friends and family he could beat anything.

**Fin. **

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A.N: Whoo! I'm finished. Fun fact, I actually wrote this entire story in one day. Didn't upload it in one day of course, but started and finished in a day. What can I say, this idea kept drilling a hole in me saying, write me, write...so I finally sat down and did. Now when I rewatch the movie it won't be yelling in my ear, lol.

I hope you enjoyed…I took some parts of the movie and tried to incorporate them into this story as like I said another what-if scenario. I hope it worked out well….as I mentioned before I had the basic idea but this story wrote itself ….and it seemed to write itself pretty well for me anyway.

Had a little trouble ending it though.

So, thanks again and Stay Gold!


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